


the words (so sweet) you can't remember

by tardigradeschool



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poisoning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14607714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardigradeschool/pseuds/tardigradeschool
Summary: On the hottest day of the year, Kravitz tied his locs up into a loose knot on the back of his head, shoulders upright and chin held high at his piano despite the heat. Taako nearly chopped off his own pinky with his best knife because he was distracted by the gleam of sweat on the back of Kravitz’s dark neck. That was before, of course -- before they got together and before they got married and before other, less pleasant things.Or, Taako meets Kravitz while he's doing Sizzle It Up! Things go about as well as they did for Magnus pre-canon -- that is, very well and then very badly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from regina spektor's "eet"
> 
> this is on tumblr already, so if it looks familiar that's why. updates will be fairly irregular but hopefully chronological. the chapters are less of a linked together narrative and closer to several related one shots

On the hottest day of the year, Kravitz tied his locs up into a loose knot on the back of his head, shoulders upright and chin head high at his piano despite the heat. Taako nearly chopped off his own pinky with his best knife because he was distracted by the gleam of sweat on the back of Kravitz’s dark neck. 

That was before, of course -- before they got together and before they got married and before other, less pleasant things. But Taako, who had always wilted in the heat before that day, found himself almost lightheaded, heat high in his cheeks and energy that bordered on giddy. It was unprecedented, and so were their sales that day. 

Originally, the two of them had been billed as separate acts; financially, it was easier to share a wagon. But they had found, quite accidentally, that Kravitz had an inherent understanding of the rhythm of cooking, despite being hopeless at it himself, and so he was able to time the crescendo with the flip of a latke and punctuate otherwise boring chopping with staccato bursts. With anyone else, Taako would have worried about being upstaged, but Kravitz -- who had never wanted to be the center of attention -- was so obviously delighted with the combination they reached that Taako couldn’t bring himself to be concerned. 

“I’m gonna be a star someday, y’know,” he told Kravitz, early on in that partnership. “You and me, bucko, we’re going straight to the top.”

Kravitz had smiled but not laughed. Kravitz had looked like he believed him. 

 

The days on the road are long, and Taako spends a lot of time bored. In the small wagon, there isn’t much to do. Before he really knew Kravitz, he would pester him to perform. When it became apparent that Kravitz was not especially vulnerable to pestering, he tried other tactics; the most successful one was doing very strange things until Kravitz gave into curiosity and asked him what on earth he was doing. 

They’re business partners, first, but friends comes pretty fast after. Taako tries to ignore the implications of Kravitz turning down a dinner date with a broad-shouldered tiefling. He tries even harder to not think about the fact that he chooses to stay in (with Kravitz -- but that’s coincidental) even when he’s invited to the hottest club in Neverwinter. 

 

In one of the more populous towns, Taako finds Kravitz giving the leftovers from the show to some kids out back. He doesn’t recognize the kids, but he recognizes the type; they’re built like he was when he was a kid, and they pause whenever they can to stuff more bread into their pockets and bags, down their shirts and tucked under cloaks.

Kravitz looks up, startled. “Hey,” he says, putting the rest of the food down. The early evening sun catches on his black hair, haloing the edges red-orange. The light softens him, somehow, painting his sharp jaw and arched nose familiar and inviting rather than intimidating. Taako stares at him.

Suddenly self-conscious, Kravitz sticks his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He’s on the step below Taako, which puts them at the same height. “I should have asked before I gave your food away,” Kravitz says. “I know you like you save everything.” 

Taako still doesn’t say anything. The last of the children clear away, the bread bowl empty now.

“I’ll pay for it, if you want,” Kravitz says, unsure. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“Don’t apologize,” Taako says. The words come out of him too quiet, a soft exhale.

“What?” Kravitz says.

Taako takes a deeper breath. “I said, don’t apologize,” he says, and then he steps forward and kisses Kravitz, with one hand on his shoulder and the fingers of the other tracing that razor-edge jaw. 

When he breaks away, Kravitz looks as though he’s been smacked in the forehead with a hammer. Heat rises to Taako’s face. “Uh -- Sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have--”

Kravitz cuts him off by reaching up and very carefully taking Taako’s face in his hands. He looks at Taako like he has always looked at Taako -- like Taako is eclipsing the rest of the world. He brushes a thumb over one of Taako’s cheekss. Taako’s breath catches. 

“Don’t apologize,” Kravitz says, the hint of a cockiness enhancing rather than undercutting his sincerity; he knows what he’s doing. Taako tries not to smile back like an idiot, but he thinks Kravitz can probably feel it in the kiss.

 

Taako cannot recall having a simple interpersonal relationship in his entire life, so he’s fairly mystified as to how easy things are with Kravitz. For the first time, he has disposable income in addition to -- oddly enough -- someone who he wants to spend it on. 

Time passes easily -- a year, then two. Kravitz learns how to curl around Taako when they fall asleep so Taako doesn’t elbow him in the face if he has a nightmare, and still he doesn’t leave. After a while, Taako stops expecting him to.

Taako beats Kravitz to the proposal by a mere three hours on their third anniversary, but it counts. They get married in the town office of some tiny lakeside town, and the white-walled, dingy office is not romantic in the slightest, but Kravitz cries anyway and Taako makes fun of him while wiping away his own tears. They eat dinner out and the food is not as good as Taako’s and the music is not as good as Kravitz’s but it’s worth it for the fact that they don’t have to let go of each other.

 

Kravitz has been picking up the viola lately, and it means that he’s free to wander around the stage rather than being stuck on his piano bench. Taako is distracted by the little flame he’s trying to conjure -- his magic is weak and unpredictable, but good enough for a parlor trick -- and he doesn’t notice the momentary pause in music until Kravitz is licking his fingers clean. 

Taako swats his hand gently with a spatula when he goes in for another piece of chicken, and the audience laughs. Kravitz plays a woeful decrescendo as he turns away, playing the part of henpecked husband, and Taako barely holds back a snort. 

“Alright,” he says, turning away for a moment to wipe his hands on a towel. “The next thing we do is--”

The music stops again, and Taako looks over. Kravitz is leaning on the counter, looking vaguely ill. He gestures at the sun as an explanation; Kravitz has a tendency to get light-headed in the sunlight. 

“Ah, so we see what my husband really thinks of my cooking,” Taako says, throwing the towel over his shoulder. “I see how it is, Krav, see if you get dinner tonight.”

The audience laughs again. 

“Anyway,” Taako says. “Next you’ll want to--”

Kravitz falls. The viola slips from his hand; it makes a hollow, wounded noise against the floor.

 

The Glamour Springs sheriff finds the culprit within the next hour. Taako half-recognizes him -- he drove Taako’s stagecoach for about a month before Taako met Kravitz, who was willing to share space and profits. Taako let the stagehand go with the rest of the week’s profit in the nearest city without a second thought.

“He says it should have been him working with you,” the sheriff says. He’s sympathetic in a useless kind of way. “That make any sense to you?”

“No,” Taako says, but then, nothing does.

 

Taako has never had an easy time sleeping. He can’t go back to the wagon, so he rents a room in town. It’s actually a more comfortable bed than the narrow cot he shared with Kravitz -- and it’s better not to be in that bed but also worse. 

Kravitz had not been able to speak for the last minute of his life, but he had looked at Taako, pupils dilated, just looked. Someone in the crowd was getting a doctor or cleric or healer and so Taako crouched beside him and did not look away from him either.  

“Don’t,” he said, and his voice came out surprisingly steady. “Don’t you dare--” He did not finish the sentence; Kravitz had always been a little superstitious and it seemed like something to avoid saying. Kravitz put his hand over Taako’s.

“Please,” Taako said. His voice broke. “I’m sorry, I don’t know--”

Kravitz shook his head, and with what looked like a great deal of effort, he raised a shaking finger the few inches to Taako’s mouth.  _ Don’t apologize _ . 

He had been smiling. 

Taako tightens his arms around himself and turns his face into the pillow that is not his. There is a weight in his chest that feels unfairly familiar and a sour taste in his mouth. He’s never been smart, but even he should be smart enough to understand that Kravitz isn’t coming back. 


	2. Magnus Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus has a lot of strengths, but being observant has never been one of them, so it’s surprising he notices the wedding ring at all, let alone before Merle.

Magnus has a lot of strengths, but being observant has never been one of them, so it’s surprising he notices the wedding ring at all, let alone before Merle. Taako wears a lot of rings, so it takes him a while to notice it. A couple weeks after the three of them start travelling together, they’re short on cash and need extra supplies so Taako reluctantly pulls off his bracelets and all but one of his rings, making a glittering pile beside Magnus’s meager contribution of his second-best knife. 

There’s only one ring left on Taako’s hand, so it catches Magnus’ eye; woodworking was his passion, but he’s picked up some metalworking skills along the way, so he recognizes it as well-made. There’s a small jewel set delicately in the silver; Magnus wouldn’t normally call simplicity Taako’s style, but it looks sleek and elegant on his third finger. 

“Hey, I like that,” Magnus says, leaning over to look at the ring closer. It looks like a wedding ring, albeit a modest one. Magnus has only known Taako a little while, but he would never describe him as modest or the marrying type. 

Taako pulls his hand away like Magnus spat on him. “We should go,” he says, turning tightly away.

“Hey,” says the fellow they’re trying to sell their stuff to, lowering one of Taako’s other rings from his mouth. “This is plastic, not gold!”

Merle grabs a small handful of their things from the counter and shouts, “Run!” 

Understandably, Magnus doesn’t remember to follow up on the conversation. 

 

Merle is a terrible snorer, so Magnus spends a lot of time lying with his face pressed into his camping pillow trying to fall back asleep. Taako always sleeps nearest to the fire, on Merle’s other side, so it’s only by coincidence that Magnus notices something’s wrong at all.

For a moment, he thinks Taako’s been hiding an injury from them -- the noise he makes certainly sounds pained. But Taako spent the whole afternoon complaining about a stubbed toe he got because he wanted to ear open-toe sandals, so that seems pretty unlikely. Magnus eases himself up onto an elbow to peer at his new friend. Taako’s facing away from him, lying down, so it’s anyone’s guess whether he’s asleep or not. But his body is curled up in a way it can’t be comfortable to sleep in, one arm wrapped around his stomach and the other around his knees. 

“Taako,” Magnus whispers. “You okay?”

Taako doesn’t move. If Merle’s snoring didn’t wake him, Magnus supposes his question wouldn’t. Taako’s breathing has evened out a little, and if he’s not asleep, he’s doing a damn good job pretending. Magnus lies back down. Taako is up before him in the morning, smug and and airy and acting so normally that Magnus wonders if he just had a very strange dream.

 

They all travel light until they reach the bureau. Magnus can’t tell if Merle bought all his new plants on the moonbase or if he just had a bottomless pack he wasn’t telling them about. Even in their shared dorm room, where Taako takes up ninety percent of their shared closet, they still live partly out of their packs. Magnus still wakes up in the night to hear Taako having a dream. 

Still, it’s only when they get the suite that any of them can fully unpack. Magnus wanders into Taako’s room one day to ask where on earth Taako put the couch cushions and if he’s planning on putting them back. Taako isn’t in his room, but something catches Magnus’s eye before he leaves and curiosity gets the better of him.

There’s a small framed picture on Taako’s bedside table. It’s a little blurry, but Taako is beaming like Magnus has never seen anyone beam. His hair is shorter in the picture and unbleached, curling around his ears and jaw, and it makes him look much younger, even though the fact that the picture is in color means it has to have been taken within the last five or six years.

More significantly, Taako has an arm around the man beside him -- he must be predominantly human, as far as Magnus can tell, and handsome. He’s a little taller than Taako, with long, dark hair and cheekbones that could cut glass. He looks as delighted as Taako does, and though Taako faces the camera with a bright smile, the man’s head is turned towards Taako and his expression is softer, adoring. 

A moment passes before Magnus even thinks to look for a ring. Taako’s hand is behind the man’s back, but the man’s hand rests on Taako’s waist, and even with the slight blur of the camera, Magnus thinks he can make out the glint of a ring on the man’s finger.

Taako must have kept the picture at the very bottom of his pack, because Magnus could swear he’s never seen it before. His chest tightens oddly as he looks at it, part guilt and part something else, something he’s not sure how to identify. What would it be like to have someone look at him the way the man in the picture is looking at Taako? What the fuck happened to him between then and now?

In the other room, the front door to their suite opens. Magnus can hear the telltale clopping of Taako’s heels that he always wears when he’s going shopping so he can tower over Garfield. Magnus stands up from his stoop, guilty, and sidles out of Taako’s room fast enough that Taako can’t tell he was in there. 

Taako barely glances up when he comes into the room. “Hey,” he says, pulling a soda out of his bag. 

“Hey,” Magnus says, dropping down onto the cushion-less couch. “What’s up?”

Taako flips his hair over his shoulder. He looks kind of tired, and Magnus can’t tell if it’s new or if he just didn’t notice before. “Nothin’ much,” he says. “I’m gonna take an eight hour nap.” 

Magnus never does find out where the cushions were. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys meet a certain godly emissary.

It becomes clear, in the moment after the woman descends from a glowing portal in the ceiling, that she herself is glowing slightly too. She’s tall and broad, with a large sword strapped to her back. Her curly hair is tied away from her face, framing high cheekbones and dark eyes.

She is the most beautiful woman Magnus has ever seen. He feels like someone smacked him between the eyes with a baseball bat. Also, he might have a concussion from earlier.

“Hey, fellas?” the woman says. 

“Yeah?” Merle says blankly, like it wasn’t a rhetorical question and he didn’t lose a hand forty-five minutes ago, quite possibly to this woman..

“I’m an emissary from Istus, the goddess of fate. She sent me here with a message for y’all.” She hefts the sword easily and seems to look directly at Magnus. “You done fucked up.”

Magnus is in love. It doesn’t matter that the emissary definitely would have killed them if they weren’t fighting slightly more competently than usual.

“I’ll be back,” she says, threatening, and Magnus’s heart swells.

“Get that look off your face, dumbass,” Merle snaps. “She stole my freakin’ arm!”

“We even share interests,” Magnus says dreamily. 

Taako rolls his eyes. “Get your head back on your shoulders,” he says. “I legit can’t tell if she cast some sort of spell on you or if you just crit failed common sense.”

It’s not entirely clear why the goddess of fate is so pissed at them. Sure, they’ve made mistakes, but nothing that might go against the fabric of time and destiny as far as Magnus can remember. Merle and Taako both deny doing any fate crimes, although Lucas looks a little suspicious when asked.

 

When the woman catches up to them again, she doesn’t waste time. She points her sword at them. “I’m taking you boys in for violating divine law,” she says. 

“Hang on, hang on,” Taako says. “What exactly did we  _ do _ ?”

The woman looks at him incredulously. “What _didn’t_ you do, kid? Let me see.” She snaps her fingers  and a huge tome appears in front of her. She holds it effortlessly with one muscular arm and flips through pages with the other. “Let’s see. Taako -- four counts of bending the timeline, one charge of first degree destiny denial. Magnus?”  
“That’s me!” Magnus says.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be tried for twenty counts of timeline bending, going back about ninety fucking years.” She looks him up and down, eyes narrowing in bemusement. “You look great for ninety, by the way.”

“How is that possible?” Magnus asks, bemused. “I’m thirty-two.”

“I don’t make the rules,” she says. “Merle? Merle?  _ Merle? _ ”

“Yeah?” he says.

She flips the book over so he can see it. “This entire  _ goddamn _ page is all you. I’d say they’re putting you away for life, but I’ve got no idea how you’re even alive right now.”

“Well, hey, no thanks to you,” Merle says, offended. “What about Lucas? He does sketchy shit all the time.”

“Lucas has done the destiny equivalent of jaywalking,” she says. “It’s not even -- yeah, Magnus, do you have a question for the class?”

Magnus puts down his hand. “I’m thirty-two,” he repeats. “And I’m single.”

“Like I said, I don’t make the rules,” she says, but her eyes linger on his face. “It’s weird, though, I’ll admit that.”

“Is it possible there was a misprint?” Taako asks, leaning over to try to peak at her book.

She snaps the book shut. “Theoretically, no, but I guess it’s not impossible that something could have gotten mixed up. I’ll look into it. Either way, this isn’t the last you’re going to see of me.” She looks at Magnus, winks, and disappears.

Merle hits Magnus in the leg. “Get that dumbass look off your face,” he says. 

“Mm?” Magnus says. 

Taako sighs loudly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Refuge, Taako makes a choice.

_ "You can have him back," the voice says. "All you have to do--" _

_ "Yes," Taako says, twisting his wedding ring. "Yes--" _

 

The last thing Kravitz remembers is the downward twist of Taako’s mouth blurring above him. His mouth felt dry and his head hurt. But he could feel Taako’s hand beside his, and before everything faded out like chalk being scrubbed from a blackboard, he managed to reach over and put his hand on top of Taako’s.

 

His head still hurts, the next time he wakes up, but in a much more distant way. Light no longer burns his eyes, and he’s significantly less sweaty. The world is still blurry, crooked somehow.

Beside him, Taako stirs. Kravitz tries to reach for him, and finds that his hands aren’t obeying him. But something -- perhaps the slight shuffling of sheets -- wakes Taako, and he reaches back for Kravitz on instinct. It might be the blurriness, but Kravitz has never seen that mix of emotions on his husband’s face.

“Don’t try to talk or move around too much,” Taako says. His voice is raspy. “They said you might not be able to when you first woke up. Paralysis is one of the--” He cuts himself off. “Anyway, squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” 

Kravitz squeezes obligingly as best he can, and Taako lets out a ragged sigh and presses a kiss to Kravitz’s wrist. “You don’t know,” he murmurs, resting his forehead against their clasped hands. “I was-- I thought-- I thought I killed you.”

Much more feebly than he means to, Kravitz strokes a thumb down Taako’s jaw. His body is starting to feel heavier, but he gives Taako’s hand another little squeeze before things wash away, and he thinks he feels Taako grip his hand back.

 

Kravitz recovers beautifully, the healers say, and Kravitz can barely feel the effects of the poison a mere five days later. The man who poisoned him is securely locked up in a county jail, and Kravitz is ready to shake the whole incident off as a bad trip and carry on with life.

When he leaves the hospital, one of the healers gives him a raven feather tied to a piece of white yarn. It’s traditional for people who have recovered miraculously to be given holy symbols for the goddesses of death and fate, for surely they must smile kindly. Kravitz laughs and goes to put it on, but Taako tucks it away before he can. Kravitz doesn’t see it again.

But even two full weeks later, Taako’s shoulders have not untensed. Even if they fall asleep with Kravitz as the big spoon, they wake up with Taako gripping him so tightly that it makes Kravitz’s muscles ache in sympathy. He watches Kravitz, when he thinks Kravitz isn’t looking. The first time Kravitz tries to cheer him up by playing him a song, Taako turns around ashen-faced, like he heard gunshots.

“I’m okay,” Kravitz assures him, over and over. Over and over, Taako runs his hands over Kravitz’s arms and chest and face and looks unconvinced. 

Taako is jumpy, these days, in a way Kravitz vaguely remembers from when they first met. And whenever Kravitz tries to talk to him about it, he side-steps. 

 

A month and a day after Kravitz’s near death experience, he wakes up alone before dawn. The wagon is parked a half-mile outside of the town they’re supposed to be performing in. He wraps the blanket around his shoulders and wanders to the end of the stagecoach. Taako is sitting in the back, his bare feet dangling off the edge. In the thin light, Taako looks exhausted, even from behind. When he hears Kravitz’s footsteps behind him, he makes a quick motion with his hand -- but Kravitz catches it anyway.

“Were you smoking?” he asks, half-incredulously.

“Mm-hm,” Taako says, although Kravitz guesses he would have lied if he hadn’t been caught. Kravitz sits down next to him. Taako keeps looking forward.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Kravitz says, which is an absurd thing to say. He’s known Taako for almost five years and been married to him for one and a half. 

“I don’t,” Taako says, distracted. “I don’t, anymore. Disgusting habit. It’ll kill you, you know.”

“I know,” Kravitz says slowly. 

Taako glances over at him, a quick glance like he’s afraid of staring. Or afraid of Kravitz. “Yeah,” he says. 

“Taako,” Kravitz says, and he tries not to notice his husband’s almost imperceptible flinch. “We can cancel this show. I know you’re -- I know things are rough, right now. It’s going to be okay. I’m okay.”

“I know,” Taako says, folding his legs up beneath him.

“Either way,” Kravitz says. “Just -- tell me how to fix this.”

Taako does turn to him, then. He’s looking at Kravitz the same way he’s looked at him for a month, and Kravitz doesn’t know what to do with it. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Anything,” Kravitz says. 

“If you could save people,” Taako says. “A lot of people. But someone had to die. Would you do it?”

“The trolley problem?” Kravitz asks, surprised. “I mean, theoretically, for sure.”

Taako squeezes his eyes shut. “What if the person who died was, like, a really good artist or something? Someone you admired.”

“I don’t--”

“What if it was me?”

Kravitz stares at him. “Taako,” he says. “You can’t-- That isn’t something I can answer. That isn’t something I can think about. You -- You understand why I don’t want to think about that, right?”

“Yeah,” Taako says. He pulls his knees up to his chest. “You’re right. Sorry.” The movement rustles a paper on the other side of him. Kravitz glances at the newspaper headline. 

“Is something happening in Glamour Springs?” he asks.

“Plague,” Taako says dully. “Forty people have died so far.” 

Kravitz scoots closer and carefully wraps an arm around Taako’s back. In a weird, awful way, it makes him feel better to know what’s been bothering him. Taako turns his body against Kravitz’s and buries his in the junction of Kravitz’s neck and shoulder. After a moment, Kravitz feels him shake with a sob.

Slowly, he smooths his hand down Taako’s back. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs. “We’re okay. It’s like the healers said, Lady Istus likes us. We’re safe.”

Taako drags in a breath against him. His hair smells like smoke, which Kravitz does not like. When he exhales, it sounds like a laugh. “Fuck Istus,” he says, voice muffled in Kravitz’s shirt. 

“How edgy of you,” Kravitz says drily.

Taako pulls back. There’s something wild in his eyes. It makes Kravitz nervous. “I mean it,” he says. “Fuck fate, fuck destiny. It’s all bullshit.”

“Okay,” Kravitz says. The sky above them, slowly growing lighter as sunrise approaches, rumbles with thunder. 

Taako grips his arm. “The trolley problem,” he says. “Krav, this is important. What if the one person was you?”

“I mean, yeah, I’d do it,” Kravitz says, nonplussed. “I like to think of myself as a good person, and it’s the right--”

“Fuck,” Taako says quietly. The sky booms louder, though Kravitz can’t see a storm anywhere. Taako pushes himself up onto his knees. “Fuck, I wish you hadn’t said that.” 

He leans forward and kisses Kravitz, too quickly. “Let’s go on vacation,” he says. “Let’s skip this gig, like you said, and take a week off. Have we ever had a week off?”

“I don’t know,” Kravitz says. “Taako, what’s--”

“I love you,” Taako says urgently.

“I know,” Kravitz says. He feels like his ears haven’t popped, but if it was his whole body. Something is wrong. “I love you too, but what--” 

The thunder is right above them now. Taako pushes himself off the edge of the stagecoach, onto the gravel on the side of the road. “Stop!” he yells at the sky. The wind whips his hair around his face. “I’m not a good person, so stop that right now!”

The voice that comes back is almost deafening. Kravitz can barely make out the words.

_ FATE FINDS A WAY,  _ the voice from the sky bellows.  _ IT’S ONE OR THE OTHER. OR RATHER, FORTY OR THE OTHER. IF HE LIVES, THEY DIE. YOU KNEW WHAT THE CHOICE WAS WHEN YOU MADE IT. YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD LIVE WITH IT.  _

“I can!” Taako shouts back. “Fuck you!” 

Kravitz maneuvers himself off the edge of the stagecoach too. The blanket around his shoulders catches wind and he lets it fall away. “Taako,” he says. He’s almost yelling himself just in order to be heard over the wind. “What’s happening?”

Taako digs in his pocket and produces the raven’s feather and white string. He throws it over his shoulder and takes Kravitz’s face in his hands. His cheeks are pink from the wind, his eyes desperate and distant. “Tell me I’m selfish,” he says. “Tell me I’m allowed to make selfish choices because I feel like it.”

“I don’t--”

“ _ Please _ ,” Taako says. His eyes search Kravitz’s face, like he’s trying to memorize every cell. “Kravitz. I love you. I love you.” It sounds like he’s trying to remind himself. 

“I don’t think you’re selfish,” Kravitz says. “I think you’re a good person.” He doesn’t know why he says it, except that he believes it. Taako’s face falls.

“No,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he’s talking to Kravitz. “No, I don’t believe this -- I can’t -- I won’t--”

_ YOU’VE ALREADY CHOSEN,  _ the voice above them says. It doesn’t sound smug.

Taako pulls him close. Kravitz can feel Taako’s hands shaking on the back of his neck. 

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Kravitz says into his husband’s shoulder. The sun should be rising over the mountains by now, but it isn’t. The mountains are gone. He can’t feel the gravel under his feet anymore. 

“I always thought you were a good influence on me,” Taako says. His breath is warm on Kravitz’s ear. “I’m not sure I’m gonna forgive you for that.” His arms tighten around Kravitz, and then, as far as Kravitz is concerned, everything stops. 

 

“What did you guys get?” Merle asks. “Anything good?”

Magnus exhales. “I feel… kinda good, actually. There’s something that -- I thought that there was this thing that I -- that was because of a mistake I made, but it turns out Kalen had a spy who -- anyway, it doesn’t matter -- it’s not my fault!”

“Nice,” Merle says. He leans back in his chair so he can see around Magnus. “Taako, anything juicy on your end?”

Taako blinks at him, almost startled by the question. “Nah,” he says. “Nothing that I -- nope.” He twists the ring on his third finger absentmindedly. “Taako’s good.”

 


End file.
